Every woman’s life is a unique mixture of challenges, blessings, victories, goal achievements, failures, heartbreaks, divorce or marriage success and so on. Even motherhood takes on different set of values, experiences, and choices. This is because our career paths, mindsets, beliefs, and opportunities differ.
Some moms enjoy the privilege of staying home full-time with their babies for a period of time or till those children leave the nest. Others need to resume work in as short a time as 6 weeks postpartum. Meanwhile some mothers have flexible work arrangements allowing them to experience the best of both worlds.
I once went through a week where my friends who were working moms were too busy to respond to my chats. At other times, my decisions as a SAHM were questioned. Whenever I beg off invitations for a meeting or a friend-date, people find it hard to understand why. What’s there to do at home that I choose not to go out and have fun!? Some assume I use my baby as an excuse and I am not serious enough to pursue proposed business opportunities
While many of these were implied without being explicitly stated, I guess my inner insecurities and low esteem this season as a “stay at home” mom (SAHM) makes me feel these things or this way. I am sure I am not alone here.
I decided that if a career mom doesn’t feel the need to apologize for her lifestyle choice, why should I as a SAHM?
Dear stay at home moms, if you are reading this right now, know that being called to be a parent full time is phenomenal!! Why? You are taking care of your child better than anyone else can and you aren’t being paid for it!
In a day, you continually pick up after your child(ren), running after them in excitement as some discover that walking is the greatest possible achievement in their young lives. Making three square meals a day and cleaning up each time, keeping on top of chores, while running errands.
These days, most of us are entrepreneurs, we find ways to work remotely, earn money online, and keep up with church and school activities.
In my next few posts, I will pick some points from the amazing stay at home mom described in Proverbs 31.
Instead of letting insecurity consume us, let’s do something about it. Let’s cast our cares, fears, worries, anxieties, and insecurities on our loving father (1 Peter 5:7). In Him we can live a purpose driven life. Look deep down and question your ability to do more and cut out time wasting activities or get started with that business idea.
I would like to hear from you, How do you deal with seasons of insecurity as a stay at home mom?
Thank you for sharing this. I went through this season. It led me to a place of prayer, surrender and deep introspection. A stay at home mom is also a working mom. Now that we pay for the little one’s daycare, we realize how much we saved monetarily when I stayed at home with the little one.
I just became a stay at home mom for the 2nd time. The first time was, because I lost my job, and I decided to stay home with my son for a little while. I felt discouraged and worthless. My identity was not in who God said I was, but who everyone else said I was because I was not working. I felt less than the working mothers. I am a stay at home mom again now by choice. I firmly know my identity in Christ now and am not bothered by what the world says. I know my time with my son is more valuable than any money I could make as a nurse in this season.
Wow thank you so so much for taking time to read and respond from your personal.experience.
Please can you share in a bit more details the steps you took to affirm yourself in your identity with Christ? Or describe your growth process to help encourage other SAHM who will be following this article
I prayerfully considered becoming a SAHM again, and I got confirmation after about a month of prayer. For the first couple of weeks of me being home, I kept comparing myself to some working moms that look “successful.” However, I was that busy working mom for years and to know I missed a lot with my son (sometimes you can’t help that). Knowing that I can now spend more time with my son before he becomes a teenager has settled my spirit. I read “Present Over Perfect” by Shauna Niequist, and it’s basically about slowing down, focusing on what is important, and that our identity is not in staying busy or our job, but in Jesus. It confirmed in me again, that being a SAHM in this season is what I should be doing.
My husband LOVES me being a SAHM. I call myself a stay-at-home-wife sometimes – haha. I cook more. I am more joyful when he comes home. He is loving it and so am I! lol!
For the extrovert moms like myself, you definitely have to find things to do outside of the house. My son and I will serve at the food pantry at our church, play outside, go to the pool gym or library, invite one of my son’s friends over, and so on. Lots of free/inexpensive things to do! I hope that is encouraging.
God bless you so much dear sis for sharing. I am really blessed myself by reading your experience. Because of your response, am going to dedicate next post to working mums who transitioned to SAHMs.
There is a misconception that SAHMs sit home all day waiting for their kids and husbands to come back from school/work.
SAHM is a full time job requires such high managerial skill and time-use effectiveness, it is a highly underrated/valued job cuz we are not paid in physical currencies.
Each of us have different callings. For a certain season, God may be calling us to slow down and take care of the gifts he has given us. For others, their professional calling is there and God gives them the grace to balance the two worlds.
We need to find our identity in Christ and be content and grateful for what He has called us to be. So many women wish they had the financial freedom to stay home with their babies
I love this! So very true!
Thank u for commenting friend! God bless you and your family
Sorry for the delay in publishing the follow up post. Should be up end of the day by God’s grace
I love how you also spoke to meeting the needs of an extrovert mum. Such wonderful advice! I need to look into such, though I am somewhere in the middle of Intro-Extro
I homeschool two of my kiddos and catch guff for that from someone at my church constantly.. it’s hard to hear the comments but I see the positive behavior of my kids and remember that I’m in the center of God’s will…just where we should be. I have to listen to God over other’s opinions.
Hmm yes most important for us to please God and raise godly seed. I thank God I returned to my home country where people are not ashamed to bring God and faith into their classrooms. Am sure you have peace in your heart as you are doing what you feel is best for your children. Well done mama!
Thanks so much for the encouragement!!
I am a working mum, but I have such respect for stay at home mums. I don’t know how you ladies do it. Stay at home mum is more than a full-time job, you get no holidays. You are all living miracles.