I have told myself several times that I would not leave the little one in daycare for more than 8 hours. Yet, there are days the little one stays in the child care center for 9 hours.
After daycare, the little one doesn’t always have my full attention. Most days, I have to prepare his dinner then head straight to class while my spouse gets the little one ready for bed.
Sometimes, the little one eats rice two nights in a row or apple sauce and yogurt for breakfast.
I don’t read him bedtime stories. I sing twinkle twinkle little star almost every night. I should perhaps get more creative.
I am sure there is a mom out here who can relate.
Navigating motherhood with a busy schedule
There are days I feel guilty and miss the little one so much I can’t help but leave work 15 minutes earlier than planned or put my school assignments on hold. When I pick up the little one, I hold him tight, shower him with kisses and make him laugh before driving off the parking lot. I keep engaging him as we drive home.
Phones are kept away during meal time.
Sometimes, I engage in 10-15 minutes of physical play with the little one right before he goes to bed.
My spouse and I do our best to be present and make the little one feel special because he is a gift. We are learning to take a break and join the little one in playing with his toys. When the little one calls for our attention, we attend and respond to his needs.
Those are some of the ways I do this thing called mothering.
No, we are not spoiling the little one. We are building a healthy mind. We are helping his brain create the right neural pathways and connections that will help him become a good father, husband, and a responsible citizen.
We understand that some of our works can wait but the moments we spend with the little one cannot wait. They cannot be taken back.
For my fellow moms of infants, toddlers, and preschoolers
As I study infant and early childhood mental health, I realize being a good enough mom is not primarily about the number of hours one spends with the child. It is more about how present one truly is when one is with the child.
To be present with a child involves physical play with the child. Not leaving the child to play with those toys alone all the time.
Being present is about knowing your child. What he or she likes. Being sensitive to your child’s affect.
Guess what momma?! The fact that you occassionally feel guilty and question if you are a good mother actually makes you a good enough mother.
It shows you are not disconnected from your little one. It shows you carry that child in your heart. It shows you desire to give your child your best. That’s what being a good mother is about.
You are good enough and you are irreplaceable!
Thanks for the encouragement! I’m in such a busy season right now and I often struggle with guilt over not spending enough time with my boys, especially my 16 month old.
Thank you. I am glad you were encouraged.♥️ my baby is also 16 month old☺️ the key is quality time, not quantity time
You are blessed 😍😍🙏🏼
Thank you. ♥️
So super sweet!! I love the passion you have wrapped in these words over your little one!! Thank you for great encouragement..forwarding this to my husband 😊♥️
Thank you! ♥️🤭
This was a beautiful post for so many mommas out there who go through the guilt. Good enough is great! ❤️
Yes! Good enough is great. I like that!! Thank you for the reflective comment.
Yes!. Good enough and irreplaceable.
God surely never makes a mistake in assigning a mother to a child or better put “allowing the mother be the parent of that child”
Well put. 👌🏽
When I was pregnant of my first child, my boss didn’t renew my work contract because I was pregnant. It made me cry. But after having my child, I wanted to stay with her more. When I decided to go job hunting, I became pregnant again😂😂🤭🤭🤭. I became a stay at home mom for two years.
Haaahaa. It worked for your good. In June, I started thinking and desiring another baby. Now, I look back and ask myself, “wth were you thinking”. I am not ready and I thank God my attempts to get pregnant between June and August failed..haaa. God is faithful to guide us. I am sure to enjoyed your stay-at-home mom season ♥️
You are doing a great job as a mother. I like the way you refer to him as “the little one” Is there any particular reason for doing this?
Thank you ma’am. The bible calls them little children. Calling my child, “the little one” sounds fitting for the blog. ♥️
Matthew 19:14 (NIV)
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Great. I think it is special.
Thank you☺️
Thanks dear sis for this heartfelt sharing post and encouragement! The love and passion you have for your young is oozing out from every word of this post…I love it! Thanks for the advice about quality time and making effort to learn who our child is. May God help reveal this wisdom to us and help us parent accordingly
Amen. Thank you for your kind words and support. I am glad you found this post encouraging.
Truly relatable, Love this! Also pursuing my masters with three kiddos so I feel you on this one. Sometimes I do ask if I am doing enough. In fact, I am currently preparing for daddy to come watch the kids after work so that I can go for my evening class 6pm-9pm!
Lol! I am glad you can relate 🙂 Thank you for the reflective comment. God gives us the strength and good health to do these things. Glory be to God!
This is so true. We cant get enough time it seems like. I too find the balance difficult, but as you explain its making the small changes and efforts that go a long way. Great read!
Thank you for stopping by, reading, and leaving a reflective comment. The efforts go a long way!