I am a wife and mother of 2 wonderful boys: a 3 year old and an 11 month old. It has taken me 4 years to say that with dignity and gratitude. 4 years of repenting, cleansing, molding before the Lord, to truly own up that role of a stay at home mother. 4 years to find complete and utter satisfaction in just being a mother, so much so that I cannot imagine doing anything that may bring me as much joy.
I was somewhat forced into this role. My husband and I moved to Europe right after our wedding. My husband began his doctoral studies, and I made plans to pursue my PhD as well. We had plans to travel Europe, and just be married and in love. We had some big dreams. It all came crashing down 2 months later, when I found out that I was pregnant with our first-born. I was shattered, terrified and confused. Why would God bring this upon us at this time? I barely had any idea of how to be a wife let alone a mother. I had many days and nights where I cried before the Lord out of sheer panic. My plans of pursuing a PhD flew out the window. Here I was, in a far away country that spoke another language I could not speak, away from my family and friends, alone, pregnant, throwing up and out of breath. What was to become of me? What am I going to do with all that education I had? How can I contribute to my family? Am I just going to depend on my husband?
If you look carefully, all those questions I had, were all about me. What I can do, my plans, my dreams, my effort. On Sundays I was singing “Lord, take my life and all I have and lead me in your ways”. Mondays, I was screaming “what about me?” No wonder I was panicking! God was not going to sit by and let me drown in my own selfishness, and pride. He loved me too much for that. He had a better plan.
“He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young”. (Isaiah 40:11)
My God, as He always is; never too early, never too late, but always on time. He showed up, in all my self-reliance, panic, confusion and morning sickness, and He spoke. He said 3 things that brought me more clarity and comfort, and any other. It was simple, as a father often says to a daughter; “I love you. I will help you, so you are going to be okay”. It was as loud as thunder, and felt as warm as a thick blanket on a cold winter’s day. I stopped panicking that day, and started thinking. I reminded my self, that God, my miraculous, kind, compassionate God is with me. He knows, He understands because He has been through it all. He is always with me in the unexpected, and the uncertain and so I need not fear. I am never alone. I never have to do anything on my own. God brings with Him his presence, His comfort and all the wisdom you need to equip you to handle whatever season He brings you.
The past 4 years has not been easy, but it has been the most rewarding. Those three words of love have been my banner, my shield, my weapon, and my comfort through everything motherhood and marriage has brought me thus far. Each moment of motherhood has brought me new revelations of God’s characteristics, new demonstrations of His Name. As I begin to share of those names He has revealed to me in those moments, it is my prayer that it may encourage another to cling on to God and the knowledge that He is always there. He loves you. It is He who guides you, He who equips you, He who shows you compassion. He is gentle and kind. It is from Him that you receive your help. He has showed you his love, through his son and what He did for you on the cross. Trust in Him, and trust in His love and all that it entails, and you will thrive as a mother. You will be satisfied. You will be fulfilled.
I am a wife and a stay at home mother. I am enough. I am satisfied. And He is glorified.
Amen. Beautiful and heartwarming. I love the scripture you share from Isaiah I never noticed that before. Thank you for the encouragement ❤️.
Thank you Sis! I love that verse too, it was shared at my baby shower by my pastor…
Amen. This is so good! Remembering God’s love has an incredible way of shifting the atmosphere and softening one’s heart. I think you should write a book or devotional titled The Happy Stay-at-home Mom 🙂 haaa!
Yes I concur!! The Happy SAHM Devotional!
Haaaahaaa!!
Haha In God’s time perhaps…..:)
Thank you so much for writing this! I too have started this season ♥️
May God bless you, keep you and guide you sis. It is a beautiful season and one of a lot of learning, growth and maturing
God is your strength! 1 Chronicles 16:11
Thank you sister.. To God be the glory!
Thank you for this beautiful and needed reminder! God bless! God is good!
Thank you Sis!
Wow. Loved the read. How God chooses to work in us truly can be beyond our comprehension. I do say so myself “It’s needful for one to stick with God” He always knows the best and surely gives us grace to walk the walk.
Amen!
Even though I am a male this remind me so much of what I went through as a young Christian. As humans we are use to walking according to our own understanding but when the Holy Spirit starts to guides us because God want to shape our lives in the right way He will allow certain things to happen. He will put us in the lonely spot to get our attention The Bible tells us in Psalm 4: 3 But Know that the Lord hath set apart him that is godly for himself, the Lord will hear when I call unto him. Being busy with your studies in the corporate world would have robbed your experience with God, Being back home closer to family you could be distracted from what God wants to do in you and for you. I am have you are able to realize that God is with you.
There is a song I dont know if you know it “There are days I like to be all alone with Christ My Lord I can tell Him of my troubles all alone”
The writer must have had some good experience all alone with God and is now desiring more of those experience. I thank God for your testimony.
Thank you brother for your kind words! Yea, God does at times lead us away from our comfort zone to get oyr attention as He says in Hosea 2:14
That is so true
Wow I too benefitted so much from what you shared here brother, God bless you dearly. I will def mediate on Ps4:3.
God bless you sister
God bless you sister. I love that scripture.
To God be the glory! Children are a blessing from the Lord.
Amen!
Hi Hasini, this was such a beautiful, heartfelt post …God bless you for sharing. Like a sis said above, you shone light on this scripture from Isaiah as if I have never seen it before.
I would love to hear more detail about ways you have found fulfilment in being a stay at home mom. Like everyday stories or situation s…and I know your testimony is still in the making.
This is a season of intimacy with God, of learning, growing and preparation and becoming the wife and mom God has created you to be
Thank you Sis! Your words are very encouraging. I will be sharing more in posts to come. I hope that it will give you some insight into how i find joy in being just a mom. But till then perhaps i could recommend a book that you can read called “Mom enough”. It helped me so much in shifting my perspective to one where i am fully satisfied. You can find a free pdf download at desiringgod.org. I hope it helps. Be blessed!
I can relate to this so much. Thank you for your words. New follower here for sure!
Thank you for stopping by and following this blog♥️ God bless you.
What a lovely post. I was in your position too when my 2 were little and how tie flies. I too did not want to be a SAHM but God changed my heart. My eldest is off to High school in September and I am still a SAHM and no longer in the corporate world. I cannot imagine going back to a 9-5. God has brought new things in my life that keep me busy as my 2 are growing older and there is so much in being there for the kids when they need me ❤️🙏🏾