These are few statements I heard as a new mom: “let the baby cry, he will not die”, “don’t spoil that baby”, and “crying is good for his lungs”. As I reflect on these statements from people with good intentions, I realize that those statements are not completely true. We can never spoil a baby. Your baby cries because he/she needs you. There is no reason to deny your baby attention on-demand just because you do not want to spoil the baby. Babies have a lifetime to learn how good and cruel the world can be. Lavish your baby with love. The world out there is not so nice.
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. ~1 John 3:1
When dealing with adults, there is also a natural human tendency to withhold love just to teach someone a lesson that we cannot be taken advantage of. I had to do a heart check on that one. There is a tendency to feel like we will get hurt when we love our spouse without reservation. Especially if they have betrayed our trust. I am guilty of cutting people off and withholding love to protect myself. On the surface, I call it “setting boundaries”. I avoid talking through the problem. I love that God’s word is so powerful, it exposes my hidden intentions.
For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.~ Hebrews 4:12
The Bible teaches us to have the God kind of love. We should love those who have shown themselves unworthy of our love. It looks like praying for those who have wronged us, those who gossip about us and seek our downfall. I understand the concept of setting boundaries. It is very important. Especially in abusive relationships. I am talking about not repaying evil for evil. Seek God’s justice instead of personal revenge.
If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? ~ Matthew 5:46-47
This type of love is humanly impossible. However, God’s love in us makes this type of life possible. Love your spouse like you have never been hurt. Treat that backbiter like she is an honorable person. Love your prodigal child. You can only reap love when you sow love.
Thank you for your time.