As I hold our precious daughter in my arms, struggling with her elongated arms and legs sliding out of my grasp, I jiggle her up and down as I rock her to sleep to the whirring rhythm of our ceiling fan.
There is a humongous mountain of unvoiced fears hovering at the back of my subconscious. Fears of the unknown, a looming new stage of life in front of me.
I have been a stay at home mom for the past 16 months that stretched on endlessly, yet flew by unbelievably. I have never spent a night away from our baby. Being a “stay home mom” became my identity, my purpose, my pride, my joy, my peace of mind. I had my daughter under my watchful gaze 95% of the time and I did my best to maintain a nurturing environment for her to develop, grow, and learn.
I believe it’s time for my daughter to start school so I can have some breathing space and productive use of time. I have been stubbornly on the thrill of freedom I will soon experience when my daughter starts day care even if for just half a day each week day.
Since December of last year I have been taking slow but steady steps of personal and career development..I recently realized I need space and time to really lift some enterprises off the ground.
As I cling tightly to our young toddler, I cling unto faith that God is in control. In this instant, I could either pray, or poke the mountain of fear and have it all come crashing down on me to drown beneath the weight of it all.
One of the names we gave our daughter came from us entrusting her into the care of God. I had to literally say it out to God again last night: God, I am handing our daughter into your care.
I prayed that God will assign the right care givers. I prayed that God will give her heavenly immune system and protect her from illness and disease . I prayed God will take control of every detail concerning her future (Jeremiah 29:11). I prayed that God will place her in His angels’ care so when she falls, she will not dash her foot against a stone (Psalms 91:11).
I would have prayed for longer but I couldn’t ignore the ache in my arms anymore. Plus our little angel was snoring peacefully.
One more prayer God…or two…
She has been waking up whimpering or crying for the past week. So I prayed that the peace of God that passeth all understanding would rest over her. God grant your beloved child sweet sleep.
And lastly God, help me to pray every time I am tempted to over think things and give into worry and fears. Help me to be a prayer warrior and intercede for every area of my life, my marriage, my child, my ministry and my career. Amen
Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV)
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~ Isaiah 41:10