Thoughts on Parenting 101

Growing up in Nigeria, parents were always right. In fact, elders were always right. We had to apologize for the wrongs or acts we did not commit. This made me very gullible and I had difficulty challenging authority figures when needed. A culture where children are expected and required to apologize for the wrongs they did not commit is toxic. Such culture normalizes emotional abuse and toxic submission. It encourages all sorts of child abuse. When parenting does not include parents apologizing for their wrongs. We raise children that tolerate emotional abuse in adulthood. No child should bear the guilt for an act he/she did not commit. Children should not be made to believe they did something they did not do.

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.~ Ephesians 4:32

Apologize. Let your children forgive you. That’s how to model forgiveness and raise emotionally healthy children.

What are your thoughts on my thoughts?


  1. Smiles. I can relate sis!. 😊
    There is really that thing and one has to choose not to follow that model. Elders are not “always” right. They are still humans and can’t know it all. 😓
    My mum does apologize when she realizes the restrained gesture when she does some things.

  2. Absolutely. I think we all need to model humility before children and before each other. We all shy away from being seen to be wrong – personally even when I admit a mistake, I usually try to let others think it wasn’t as bad really and make my excuses. Someone once said that we judge others by their actions, but judge ourselves by our intentions. How true!!! Lord, have mercy. I was also taught “Do as I say, not as I do” and frequently punished for unknown crimes… you are right, it is so toxic and damaging – for me it has messed up my ability to discipline myself and my children in a healthy way, for many years. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. x