“My child fared well in school and had ambitions of going to college; now he’s out of high school, not working, and claims he has no plans to go to college.”
“My daughter never calls until she needs something, and even then she is nasty to me!”
Have you ever experienced similar experiences, or is this something you are going through as a parent right now?
It is heartbreaking to learn that the child you fought so hard to nurture isn’t living up to his/her full potential. Even more upsetting is the idea that you may not have a good relationship with them. These difficulties might make you feel like you’ve failed at times. As parents, we tend to believe that it is our fault if something goes wrong with our child. Not only do we put pressure on ourselves, but we may also get blaming signals from well-meaning family members. But it’s more probable that you did the best you could at each stage of your child’s existence. Some things may have been more effective than others, but you did your best.
I believe it is critical to examine your own emotions objectively. Are you irritated because your child is in a potentially dangerous position or his or her choices do not fit your values? Culturally, we place a higher emphasis on social status than letting our children go through their own journey. The truth is that this is now your child’s adventure. Whether or not you agree with their lifestyle or life choices, the reality remains that individuals now have the freedom to make their own decisions. No matter what sort of upbringing a person has, there comes a moment in maturity when they must accept responsibility for their own life. The most important thing to remember is that people are always developing and changing. Just because you haven’t seen the fruit of your labor doesn’t mean you won’t in the future. You can’t stop praying even if it appears that your prayers aren’t working.
I consider myself an example. I dropped out of college multiple times. A few years later, I returned to college, earned my Master’s degree, and founded a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering women in the areas of self-esteem and spirituality. So, to you disheartened parent, I say, “It’s Not Over!” Love the child you have today and never lose hope in who God has called them to be. Give them room to go through their own process while believing God that His perfect plan will be done in their lives.
Author: Kim Petitt
Kim Petitt holds a graduate degree in psychology. She holds a bachelors in communication and a associates degree in business administration with a concentration in office management. She is the mother of a twenty + year old male.
The journey of motherhood for Kim is quite unique being that she was a teen mom and living with a physical disability. The challenges she faced caused her emotional pain and loneliness, but because of her faith and relationship with God she didn’t give up and continues to overcome through Christ. Her heart’s desire is to reach out to teenage girls and young moms and women from all walks of life to teach them how to overcome their own personal challenges that keep them from loving God and themselves.
You can connect with kim by visiting her blog @kimpetitt09