What to Do When Our Kids Give Us Feedback

My child is only making baby sounds right now but I must have this in my parenting tool box because he will surely talk.

Here is a good read on how parents can handle “talking back”. Perhaps we should call it “feedback” :


My husband and I were working on a project around the house. We had gone back and forth between his idea and my idea on how to fix it. Finally, he decided to go with my idea.

Thinking I would be funny, I simply said sarcastically, “See—if you wouldn’t be so difficult and just do what I said, we would be done by now.”

Even now, it makes me chuckle because I was simply being silly. My husband even chuckled when I said it! I was in no way being serious. I knew it, and he knew it.

My daughter Rylee, however, did not see it that way. She responded with, “Mommy, you’re the one being difficult.”

Oh, the look of shock—no, horror—that must have been all over my face!

Did she just tell me I was being difficult? How in the world does she even know what’s really going on? She’s just sitting there sketching in her art book. Did she just call me out? She can’t call me out! She can’t talk to me like that! Did her dad hear what HIS daughter just said to me? Oh no, she didn’t just say that to me. I’m her mother! That disrespect will NOT be tolerated! She has no clue what she is talking about and she spoke out of turn. Oh, heck no.

Finally, I picked up my jaw off the ground and turned to face her. She looked up from her book and said, “What? It’s true. You are the one being difficult.”

What? She said it a second time? Has she forgotten who is talking to? I’m the mom and she is the daughter! How dare she continue with disrespect.


Thankfully, I didn’t say any of those things. Instead, I took a deep breath and quickly reminded myself what my goal with my daughter is. Is it to be powerful—or is to teach her only one us has the power? Will she learn to have a voice—or will she grow into an adult who gets walked on because when she did speak up, she was shut down and told she was being disrespectful?


Source: What to Do When Our Kids Give Us Feedback