I used to think including people into every part of our family life was a must do. The older I get though, the more this truth becomes clear- I don’t owe anyone the gift, that is, my life. I don’t owe friendship. I don’t owe relationship to others with my children, those things are gifts. Gifts that I freely want to give, but only to people who value them.
I once put myself in a situation out of what I thought was compassion. I opened my heart and the consequences that followed took me two years to process. I am by no means saying don’t love. I am saying love received with trust is a beautiful combination. I watch this with my kids all the time.
When someone hurts their feelings in school and they aren’t sure how to process the situation. At first, I said forgive them and be kind, we all make mistakes. That is absolutely true, but I had to go back and add your job isn’t to make sure your friends treat you with respect. Your job is to create an environment in which respect is simply a by product of being around you. You carry it. You carry love in such a deep way people see your friendship, your life, your personality as a gift they treasure and consider it an honor to receive from.
I don’t trust my youngest daughter with the same things I trust my oldest. My youngest isn’t aware enough to understand the value in what I am giving her. My oldest is. Be careful what you are giving to other people assuming they are mature enough to know its value. Your life is a gift. Your family is a gift.
Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you. Matthew 7:6