Spiritual Experiences of Motherhood
One glorious day, something insane happened and I got a smack to the face. A beautiful little baby, totally opposite of everything I knew, was handed to me. As an infant she fought me. She didn’t like to be snuggled, she wanted to be put down. She never looked me in the eyes, she was in her own world. She didn’t walk when I thought she should. She didn’t say momma or daddy until way past the time frame considered to be “normal”. . . . .
For two years, my husband and I have been intentionally sowing seeds of affirmation in our girls. One of our adopted little girls had so much hurt even as a baby she wouldn’t look at herself in the mirror without crying. It was heartbreaking and something we absolutely refused to receive as ours, so we…
I had a dream two years ago that I was being sent to boot camp. At the time I knew it wasn’t a physical boot camp, but a time of refining for myself. God called me within the next few months to be a stay at home mom. At the time I felt like I…
Did you know, this month is National Recovery Month? With his permission to share, here is a part of my dad’s story. At 11 years old, my dad went to a party full of adults. At that party a woman made the choice to stick a needle full of heroin in his arm. He worked…
I had a dream last night that I feel impressed to share. In my dream I was walking around the city. With each store I passed, my mind was being invaded with thoughts. Thoughts of hopelessness, disappointment, anxiety, insecurity, there wasn’t anything off limits. My mind was filled with thoughts of death, thoughts of affair,…
Earlier this year, my son said “Mom, I am so glad you adopted me. We all fit together so perfectly. ” My biological son, Judah has no idea that he isn’t adopted. In his mind, adoption means you were added to our family and that addition can happen through delivery or the front door. In…
Early in March, we visited grandma. After spending the day and saying a 10 minute emotional goodbye, we finally got the kids in the car. One child was having an exceptionally hard night and acting in an unusual way. We decided to take a few minutes and everyone in the car had to say one…
So to those in a similar situation, let me encourage you with this...I have two dads that I love with all of my heart. One brought me into the world, the other helped me learn how to live in it.
I snapped a photo of my adopted daughter recently and something new hit me. You see the way she is holding that sandwich? That’s how I hold a sandwich. Adoption is a funny thing. For me, identifying similarities is a blast. I love to watch my birth daughter and see my mother in law or…
Clothes piled up, toys everywhere, and little people running in and out of the photo. I know life is really never “perfect”, but something about this season for our family makes me see “perfect” differently. I have had the privilege of speaking to several foster moms who are ready to throw in the towel and…
Today I celebrate moms. The ones fostering, adopting, birthing.. the ones who have lost, the ones who chose life, the ones who are still waiting. All of us deserve to be celebrated.
“Mom, I am so glad you adopted me. We all fit together so perfectly. ” My biological son has no idea that he isn’t adopted. In his mind adoption means you were added to our family and that addition can happen through delivery or the front door. In a culture where words like biological and…
I have been intentional to guard my children from any word spoken against them, and yet in that moment I was the one speaking negative. I know that this is easily a situation where you can get hyper "religious" but for me it was eye opening.
I, without thinking grabbed a dark brown crayon and started coloring the girl's skin. Without skipping a beat, the little boy asked me why I would use that ugly brown color because my real skin was so nice and white. I didn't know if I wanted to cry or hug him more in that moment.
My heart today is burning for moms who feel defeated. Moms feeling alone. Listen to me… You aren’t supposed to be her, your children aren’t supposed to look exactly like those children...
I will wage war for life, but I cannot justify trampling the wounded on the way to the battle. I must keep my heart at a place that I will stand for truth, but also be willing to run across the street for the broken carrying the weight of her choice. When I forget how to do both, then I fall into dangerous territory myself.
Three little girls were sitting on the bottom bleacher watching the basketball game. As we walked by, one girl stuck out her foot and tried to trip my daughter. She then stuck out her tongue and told my daughter that her hair was ugly.....
I believe God does not love us equally, He loves us uniquely. I didn’t understand this until my third child. For a parent, love is not divided. Love multiplies. Each of my children awaken my motherly love in a different and unique way. My children couldn’t be any more different and the incredible thing is…
As a wife and a mother I spend a lot of the time making sure everyone is taken care of and things are accomplished. I am in the daily details, but if at the end of the day the things I am reflecting are ugly and poisoned I am doing no-one any good by having a clean house and folded laundry.
From parental termination to the celebration of adoption you will cry, laugh, hurt, and cry some more. It will crush your heart to see the pain of a mother walking away while simultaneously planting love as you step in. Don’t allow yourself to judge anyone or any situation. You don’t know as much as you think. If you aren’t sure what to do, do the thing that scares you the most. Hope is a vital part of this process.
