I snapped a photo of my adopted daughter recently and something new hit me. You see the way she is holding that sandwich? That’s how I hold a sandwich.
Adoption is a funny thing. For me, identifying similarities is a blast. I love to watch my birth daughter and see my mother in law or listen to my birth son and hear my dad. I enjoy seeing things in my children that are me.
If I am being honest I struggled in that area with my adopted daughters because I didn’t contribute to their DNA. It was during a crying session about a year ago that my husband squashed that fear. He looked at me and said “Serena, you should be identifying with the Jesus in them. You have the same dad.”
Well, hello! I knew that. Connection is a tricky thing. Sometimes it is instantaneous and other times it is fought for. Sometimes we see ourselves in the person in front of us and find grace to lean in. Other times we have to intentionally stay face to face with the person and find the Father. It’s all about choice and the right perspective. People usually aren’t the problem, it is us.
After a year of seeing similarities that match my Heavenly Father, my heart about burst out of my chest with this photo. Why? Because she looks like me. How can I see that? Because I took the time to understand our differences and celebrate her. I stayed in it with her. I didn’t loose the eye contact, even when I wanted to turn my head. I didn’t allow the differences to stop us from connecting.
I am not sure if she came by that sandwich hold naturally or if she watched me. Even then, we laugh and talk about how funny it is just like how my dad and I used to do.
Every time, God drops into my heart this simple truth: “finding the Father in everyone you meet, sets them up to be included into a Family that they most desperately want.”
And that is what being a mother looks like.