The Middle Finger

Recently, I gave someone the middle finger. My family slowed down while entering a circle or round about, as a courtesy to allow another driver pass through. The driver behind us honked at us within seconds. I found it irritating. I turned around to look at the honking driver and she gave me the middle finger. I quickly returned her gesture without thinking or considering the fact that the little one was sitting next to me. I did exactly what Romans 12:1-2 asked me not to do. My response was emotionally and spiritually immature.

Giving the middle finger or cussing is not Christ-like.

Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. Ephesians 5:4 (NIV)

What would Jesus have done if someone gave him the middle finger or cuss him out? He certainly would not mirror back obscenity. My response should have reflected Christ but it did not. 1 John 2:6 (NLT) says, “Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.

My conscience judged me, I repented, and reflected on the situation. The situation brought to light many things I need to work on emotionally and spiritually.

Whenever God shows me things I need to work on in my life, I work on them because I do not want to take God’s grace for granted. I work on them knowing God will help me do his will or change. Philippains 2:13 (NLT) says, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”

We deceive and deny ourselves God’s best when we normalize sin in our lives. Never make excuse for sin. Doing so leads to a life of deception and leaves no room for repentance. Yes, God understands. Yet, he corrects us because he loves us (Hebrews 12:6) and we should accept God’s correction for our own good.

I hear a lot about God loving us and little about how we should respond to his love. We are supposed to love him back by doing the things that please him (John 14:15). It does not mean we are working to be loved. We cannot repay God for his love.

I am becoming like Christ and crucifying the flesh daily. It is a process that would be completed when I see Jesus face to face in eternity. Knowing this keeps condemnation at bay when I fall short in my calling as a mother, wife, and other areas of my life.

Thank you for reading my confession and reflection.

Be blessed!

Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 1John 3:2 (NIV)

Would you like to become a member of God’s family? Please say the prayer below and let me know about it here.

Say this: Heavenly Father,
I acknowledge that I am a sinner. I believe you exist and you sent Jesus to die for me. I receive your love and forgiveness. Reveal yourself to me. I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Amen

Welcome to God’s family!


  1. Temi, thank you for this raw, real post about what it looks like to respond to Christ’s love. This is a real life example of what a repentant heart looks like. As we repent, we grow in maturity. I find myself needing to repent often and each time I do, my heart is met with such beautiful grace. Grace for forgiveness and equipping grace to overcome the next time the temptation resurfaces. Thank you Temi!!!

  2. Thank you for your honesty and courage to share your moment of weakness, it is near impossible to not react in the flesh when dealing with hard situations and your beautiful soul grasped we all could learn from it as when we are weak, and I am, lol, God is strong! God not only loves us, he has already forgiven us for past, present and future sins, and we show we are his children by bringing it to his feet! We are loved more than we know by our Great Father in Heaven!

  3. I so appreciate your honesty, Temi. I sure have responded in the flesh to angering situations. I love how you said that we shouldn’t make excuses for our sin. It’s so easy to blame the other person, the situation, etc. You made great points about how we ARE to handle our sin. Thank you!

  4. It is always refreshing to hear you say what you did. The reason it is refreshing is because you are showing that you are not a perfect Christian.

    I had a similar accident where this lady behind me got upset because I stopped my car to let a pedestrian cross in front of me. Even though the pedestrian was not at a cross walk. From my review window I saw her with her phone in her hand and she shrugged her shoulders and I gave her the finger.

    The moment I did that I knew I was wrong; I felt such a strong conviction that I could not shake that feeling all day long. I even called my husband and told him what had happen.
    I asked him to pray for me because I felt as though I had let God down. In my prayer I asked God to forgive me.

    Temi it is through these things in our daily lives that show that we still have ungodly actions in us that God is still working on within us.

    Thanks for sharing my sister. Be bless

    1. Thank you for reflecting with me and sharing your experience as well. Our imperfections keep us humble and dependent on God. So, none of us can say we have arrived or we know it all. May we never get to a place where we begin to suppress or ignore the conviction of the Holy Spirit 🙏

  5. Ahhh I love your vulnerability and to show others (through your words in this post) that we’re not perfect but we should be working to learn and draw closer to Him! I love that God shows us the perfect example!! We ALL have mess ups but God forgives when we repent and He leads us on the correct path without further judgment over our past.