Me: “Do you want to hurt mommy?”…”Do you want mommy to be sad?”
Little One: “No, I want mommy be happy”… “I don’t want mommy sad”
Me: “If you want mommy to be happy, don’t……….”
This is one way I am dealing with the thrilling twos, we will step into the thrilling threes shortly and I look forward to the challenges. If you have a toddler who understands emotions, try communicating with emotions.
I used to tell the little one, “If you don’t ____, you will go time out”, and I still find myself using consequences to communicate. Recently, I noticed that using emotions to communicate is more effective when dealing with the little one. It causes him to reflect on his actions and be mindful of others. Communicating with emotions right now can help his brain form neural pathways that would make it easier for him to avoid harmful behavior or actions for his own good and others. More importantly, it would make it easier for the little one to obey God and his parents because he loves them, not because he wants to avoid consequences for disobedience.
I realized saying, “If you don’t ________, you will ______” primarily teaches the little one to fear consequences or avoid consequences mainly for himself. It does not teach him that his actions have consequence that would affect him and others. It does not teach him that relationship is important.
Spiritual Lesson: Avoiding consequences is easier when it is guided by love, not the fear of consequences. Our ‘NO’ to the things that displease God should be guided by our ‘YES’ to loving God.
If you love me, you will keep my commandments. John 14:15
I love you all!
Finals are upon me, but I must still be about my father’s business.
Next semester, I will advance to candidacy. Excited!!! Thank you all for being a part of my PhD journey.
Would you like to become a member of God’s family? Please say the prayer below and let me know about it here.
Say this: Heavenly Father,
I acknowledge that I am a sinner. I believe you exist and you sent Jesus to die for me. I receive your love and forgiveness. Reveal yourself to me. I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Amen
Welcome to God’s family!