Why Did I Get Married?

I was 23 when I got married and 16 years later I am happy and in love more than I was on day one. This is not because everything has been perfect all 16 years. It is because the trials my spouse and I have gone through together have made me grow to love God and my husband even more. We both had a lot to learn about each other as newly married couple and parents soon thereafter.

My unhealthy marital expectation was an ideal formed from observing my parents and what I witnessed in the society. I had rules and preconceived notions about how things should go and when they didn’t line up with my expectations then I would move on from it. My parents have been married for 45 years. I saw their struggles and vowed to never live like that, not knowing that they were just going through the same processes I went through the first few years of my marriage. We should never base the success of our marriage on anyone else but build our marriage on God’s Word. Ephesians 5:22-33 describes the spiritual purpose for which God made marriage. We are created to worship and glorify God with our lives and that should be expressed in our marriage as well. When we are in a relationship with Christ, the Holy Spirit will guide us on how to love, how to forgive, and how to build intimacy with our spouse. 

Do you have marital challenges? In John 16:33 Jesus makes it known that we will have trouble in this world but reassures us that it’s ok because he has already overcome the world.

Here is the good news- we get to start over. Every day is a new opportunity to discover the purpose of your marriage or ask yourself, “why did I get married?”.

It’s ok if we don’t get things right every time but the closer our relationship is with Christ, the deeper our relationship will be with our spouse– honoring and pursuing God, with the marriage that He blessed us with. 

Author: LaShondra “Shinny” Sutherland

Shinny is a military wife and military momma of a 21-year-old son and 15-year-old daughter, with a heart for marriages. She serves in a ministry that provides tools for couples to learn how to do marriage the way God intended it to be. She enjoys traveling around the world and experiencing new cultures and of course the food! She has learned that a deep relationship with God and community will alter your life’s path shaping a better you and ultimately a better marriage. You can connect with Shinny @this_loveworks


  1. Great post, I was encouraged to read those verses in Ephesians 5 for a refresher.

    My husband and I have also been married for 16 years and it’s only through God’s mercy and grace that we’ve made it to where we are. The past eight years we’ve included God in our marriage and these have been the sweetest yet and I’m looking forward to all the years to come!❤️

    1. Thank you so much! Congrats on 16 years!

      We are living with that same freedom! I am just awed at how marriage can get better when we start doing things HIS way. It’s a joy to hear another couple who exist in that space as well. 😊