This blog post was inspired by the feedback received from my last post, Dealing with Insecurities: Stay-at-Home Mom.Please check it out. I addressed some of the insecurities we face as stay-at-home mamas. Instead of dwelling on our feelings of insecurities, it is time to face this issue head on.
Let’s grab a cup of coffee, notebook/iPad and pen, and retreat to our favorite corner in the house. Time to be real. Enough of negative self talk and lack of progress. Let’s discuss a few things you perhaps already know deep down. My prayer and hope is that the content of this post will help you get rid of self-defeating thoughts and move confidently into a life of purpose, fulfillment and joy. Here are three ways to overcome insecurities:
Charm and grace are deceptive, and [superficial] beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord [reverently worshiping, obeying, serving, and trusting Him with awe-filled respect], she shall be praised.
PROVERBS 31:30 AMP
2. Focus on Pleasing God, not people
It is human nature to expect those we love and respect the most to reciprocate love and respect. When our spouse, parents, child, best friend, pastor, mentor or role models criticize us or make an offhand remark on how we are falling short as mothers, our self-esteem takes an immediate nosedive that can be difficult to recover from.
Instead of focusing on negative comments. Let’s strive to do our best as mothers because it is pleasing to God. We put in our best because we want to please God and walk in our divine purpose, not because we want to please anyone. We will never find our value or self worth in what the popular culture of our time and age values. The people we admire the most shouldn’t dictate what we do or how we measure our success.
I love how the New Living Translation puts Colossians 3:23:
Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.
Other translations say we should work heartily, enthusiastically, wholeheartedly, and my favorite: work from the soul (Berean Literal Bible).
My prayer for all mamas:
May God bless the work of our hands and crown our efforts with success. Amen.
3. Be Purposeful in the use of Social Media
Celebrities, bloggers, social media influencers use social media to “brand” themselves as experts in their self-proclaimed fields, posing screenshots into their seemingly perfect lives.
Women who have just given birth post unrealistic sculpted bodies in workout clothes, family outing pictures, airplane selfies documenting their successful global career (collaborations, photoshoots, book launch) etc. Basically, these women show us they are living well coordinated, busy career lives, having romantic date nights while still having the time to be fantastic moms. It’s enough to put any “regular” mom in a state of perpetual depression.
Social media also hinders efficient use of time. The wise woman in Proverbs 31 does not eat the bread of idleness, but uses her time wisely to look after the affairs of her home (verse 27).
Set a time limit a couple of times a day, as needed, to keep in touch with work, personal communications or research on the web or social media. Be purposeful about your use of social media. If what you see is not edifying and brings you to a place of comparison, do what’s best for your heart and soul by unfollowing or staying off social media. Don’t allow the filtered life of others affect your real life.
Thank you very much for sharing your experiences in comments on my last post, please feel free to include additional insights, current/past struggles as stay at home moms and what you did to overcome them.